Dear drivers who take I-95 North in the morning:
When you approach the Gerard Point Bridge, please do not be alarmed by the flaming ball of gas that you see. It is a natural phenomenon called "the Sun". It's there every day, provided there are no clouds. It won't attack you, cause the other cars to randomly change their positions, and will not create sun monsters that might destroy your car, the bridge or anything else, for that matter.
So, please, please - STOP SLAMMING ON YOUR BRAKES and causing traffic jams! It's really annoying and just makes me think that there are people almost every day who go, "WHOA! SUN! I ain't nevur seed that befores!"
Get over it, and drive.
Thank you.
Sincerely,
Concerned Driver.
Monday, January 23, 2012
Monday, October 10, 2011
I like shopping for groceries late at night - after all my boys are asleep (or at least have no demands on me) and the stores are practically empty. I take a bit of time to go and look through greeting card section (buying those is a sort of hobby), and I am finding that I like listening to the sappy romantic songs that get played on the PA system, though the Pathmark I used to go to before we moved tended to play the Beatles, which was even better.
This has been your random elfinithought, brought to you by Late Night Grocery Run.
This has been your random elfinithought, brought to you by Late Night Grocery Run.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
I'm going to act like there was no eon-long break in my posts and just waltz right back in with a story of my (now-eldest) son's (henceforth known as D1) epic grapple with his backpack yesterday.
As it happens all too often, he just threw his backpack into his room, trusting it to land somewhere out of the way (which it didn't) and rushed off to dinner. Then he had to go somewhere, and later we went shopping for more school clothes - he chose a black hoodie, and another black hoodie, and a black technical sports under-layer, and another black technical under-layer. And some gum. Not black, but that's probably because there wasn't any black gum for sale.
The point is, he didn't get back to his room until after dark. Upon walking in, he promptly tripped over the poor backpack, and went thunderously down - hitting his desk, dresser, and the floor. When I rushed in, estimating how fast I can get him to emergency room, I found him sitting on the floor, cursing at his backpack and nursing his shin.
I rationally pointed out that his backpack wasn't at fault, but D1 disagreed vehemently and supported his statement by picking up the offending accessory and throwing it further into the room. Then I said,
"Dude! it's not like the backpack did it on purpose!"
D1: "Yes it DID! GRR!"
Me: "Oh, right. You put it under your desk, safely out of the way, and it crawled out and laid in the doorway in ambush, waiting for you."
D1, in a slightly better mood: "That's right. I had it tucked away, and it sneaked out."
Me: "Ok, then, what's the lesson we learned today?"
D1: "It's not my fault!"
Me: "The lesson is, 'Tie down your backpack better, so it does not escape and own you via trippage.' "
D1 agreed that it was, in fact, an acceptable life lesson, and family peace was achieved. Ice was applied to damaged shins, and later on I overheard D1 threatening his backpack in a really creative and witty way. I think Chuck Norris was mentioned. I love my teen.
As it happens all too often, he just threw his backpack into his room, trusting it to land somewhere out of the way (which it didn't) and rushed off to dinner. Then he had to go somewhere, and later we went shopping for more school clothes - he chose a black hoodie, and another black hoodie, and a black technical sports under-layer, and another black technical under-layer. And some gum. Not black, but that's probably because there wasn't any black gum for sale.
The point is, he didn't get back to his room until after dark. Upon walking in, he promptly tripped over the poor backpack, and went thunderously down - hitting his desk, dresser, and the floor. When I rushed in, estimating how fast I can get him to emergency room, I found him sitting on the floor, cursing at his backpack and nursing his shin.
I rationally pointed out that his backpack wasn't at fault, but D1 disagreed vehemently and supported his statement by picking up the offending accessory and throwing it further into the room. Then I said,
"Dude! it's not like the backpack did it on purpose!"
D1: "Yes it DID! GRR!"
Me: "Oh, right. You put it under your desk, safely out of the way, and it crawled out and laid in the doorway in ambush, waiting for you."
D1, in a slightly better mood: "That's right. I had it tucked away, and it sneaked out."
Me: "Ok, then, what's the lesson we learned today?"
D1: "It's not my fault!"
Me: "The lesson is, 'Tie down your backpack better, so it does not escape and own you via trippage.' "
D1 agreed that it was, in fact, an acceptable life lesson, and family peace was achieved. Ice was applied to damaged shins, and later on I overheard D1 threatening his backpack in a really creative and witty way. I think Chuck Norris was mentioned. I love my teen.
Monday, July 5, 2010
The Tortures of Summer
Anyway, because it turned out that my son SUCKS at doing research, and these days kids are supposed to be google-masters and research ninjas, I decided to ruin - RUIN I TELL YOU! - his life for the summer by making him do small research papers. Yeah, I'm bad.
The first research was on a super boring subject of -GASP!- Porsche's first car. Yeah, he loves Porsche and any kind of fast sports car, but researching? You've got to be kidding me! It, like, requires thinking! And actually reading! And some more thinking! Who does this during summer break...
This is us working on finding the right keywords to get the best results, because - who knew - typing "what is porsches first car?" into the search window does not get you much. I tried getting him to figure out that maybe adding "history" to the search keywords might get some good results, but he wasn't having it. For the first 20 minutes.
This is how it went:
Me: So, you typed "Porche fist car" and got results mostly on Porsche 2011 new one. What do all these have in common?
D, after staring at the screen: They.. aaare.. alllll... aboutPorsches?
Me: Ha-ha. Now, seriously?
D: They are about the past?
Me: Right, so, what should we add to the search?
much whining and lamentation follows. H comes in to check on us, is furiously waved away.
Me: Soooo, what science studies the past?
D: IDONNOOOOOOOO!!!! Do I have to do this?
Me: Come on... What science?
silence, interrupted by tiny whinages.
Me, losing patience: Come on, biology?
D, brightening up: Biology!
Me: Seriously? What does biology study?
much whining and lamentations follow, during which H comes back and tries really hard not to help. Finally, he says, "D, think about the first syllable!"
D: Bio... bio... bio... bio... OH! Biology studies the world!
Me, sarcastically: Then what does geography study?
D, wilting: Oh. I DONNOOOOOOOOOOOO.... doIhaftadooooiiiiit?
Me: Yes.
much lamentation and whining follows, during which D DOES come up with the word "history".
He types that in, get a lot of good results and starts lamenting about having to read each of the articles.
The evening passes in similarly cheery atmosphere.
My pose is actually very strategic - you try yelling while laying down. So my pose just actually promotes my patient demeanor and improves my staying power. Highly recommended. Of course, for this to work, you need to have quite an authority over your kid, because they might have trouble taking you seriously when you are laying down. D knows I mean business, though, and that we will stay up till 2 in the morning, if necessary, but will do what we set out to do.
Like I said, I'm bad ^_^
The first research was on a super boring subject of -GASP!- Porsche's first car. Yeah, he loves Porsche and any kind of fast sports car, but researching? You've got to be kidding me! It, like, requires thinking! And actually reading! And some more thinking! Who does this during summer break...
This is us working on finding the right keywords to get the best results, because - who knew - typing "what is porsches first car?" into the search window does not get you much. I tried getting him to figure out that maybe adding "history" to the search keywords might get some good results, but he wasn't having it. For the first 20 minutes.
This is how it went:
Me: So, you typed "Porche fist car" and got results mostly on Porsche 2011 new one. What do all these have in common?
D, after staring at the screen: They.. aaare.. alllll... aboutPorsches?
Me: Ha-ha. Now, seriously?
D: They are about the past?
Me: Right, so, what should we add to the search?
much whining and lamentation follows. H comes in to check on us, is furiously waved away.
Me: Soooo, what science studies the past?
D: IDONNOOOOOOOO!!!! Do I have to do this?
Me: Come on... What science?
silence, interrupted by tiny whinages.
Me, losing patience: Come on, biology?
D, brightening up: Biology!
Me: Seriously? What does biology study?
much whining and lamentations follow, during which H comes back and tries really hard not to help. Finally, he says, "D, think about the first syllable!"
D: Bio... bio... bio... bio... OH! Biology studies the world!
Me, sarcastically: Then what does geography study?
D, wilting: Oh. I DONNOOOOOOOOOOOO.... doIhaftadooooiiiiit?
Me: Yes.
much lamentation and whining follows, during which D DOES come up with the word "history".
He types that in, get a lot of good results and starts lamenting about having to read each of the articles.
The evening passes in similarly cheery atmosphere.
My pose is actually very strategic - you try yelling while laying down. So my pose just actually promotes my patient demeanor and improves my staying power. Highly recommended. Of course, for this to work, you need to have quite an authority over your kid, because they might have trouble taking you seriously when you are laying down. D knows I mean business, though, and that we will stay up till 2 in the morning, if necessary, but will do what we set out to do.
Like I said, I'm bad ^_^
Friday, June 25, 2010
Thursday, June 24, 2010
The Unattainable - on Elfinitales
The new story is up on Elfinitales. If you read it and like it, please feel free to leave me a comment - no need to register for that!
Monday, June 21, 2010
Kick-O-Mania Action Figures Review
I've had my eye on these figures for a long while now. They are being sold at incredible price (around $8 per fig) on Home Link Japan (www.hlj.com) and the only thing that was stopping me from buying them was shipping. Then, HLJ had a free shipping promotion, so here they are!
I know they are not the most wonderfully gorgeous (or even true to the originals) action figures, but still, they are decently articulated, fairly alright-looking, so I thought I'd post this review for people who might need a couple of fill-in guys for their stories or whatever.
The figs are fairly poseable, though you have to watch out for the wind-up leg - the right leg is rigged to a button on their backs (so I guess no nude shots? ^_^ ) so that it kicks if you press it. Their hands are soft plastic, so it is possible to bend them, though they do not stay in bent position on their own.
Now, the faces - I'm posting the mug shots of the 6 figs that I bought, and you can make your own conclusions. The pictures on hlj.com are rather small, and you can't always tell what the face really looks like. (I feel compelled to poke fun at some of them, but it's not in any way a comment on the athletes, just on their plastic counterparts)
Roy Makaay
Oliver Kahn
Kevin Kuranyi
Alesandro Del Piero (aka Cousin Vinnie from New Jersey >_> )
Benjamin Lauth
Michael Ballack (maybe the not so bright but enthusiastic somebody's younger brother?)
Finally - clothes. The uniforms are not that well-fitting, but are pretty decently made. They come with shin guards that (OUCH!) fit through their socks into little holes in their shins. The cleats are really well made and now I have an idea where that influx of Adidas 1/6 shoes came from that was on ebay some months ago ^_^
They also come with a soccer ball and a stand.
All in all, they should serve alright for the purpose that I had in mind - patrons of Jack's dive bar, extras on various sets, maybe even I'll do a scene or a story from James and Dasha's college soccer days, before I change the dudes into "civilian" clothes.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Useless Shirt
So, instead of going out and buying new (trendier) clothes, I went through my t-shirts and modified the crap out of them over this weekend. Mostly that involved cutting the necklines and sleeves. I've also lacerated one shirt, but haven't worn it yet.
This is my favorite (and now even more favorite!) shirt. It has a story.
Back in my days of working for YellowMan in New York, me and Lejka used to get a lot of back-stabby crap from the Yellow River people, who worked for the same boss. YellowMan was a new thing, and some of the Yellow River people maybe didn't like us? Don't know why. Maybe it's just a fashion thing. I never got that.
AAANYWAY. Me and Lejka worked like the damned, and produced a lot of stuff (out of necessity, I won't get into all the insanity). We were so overworked that we started having nervous giggle fits by Wednesday, and by Tuesday our vocabulary would already be reduced to "We need to send the, uh, the, uh... thing... to that dude... in that... place?" And the other person would actually know what it meant. Which was cool, but I digress.
So, one time, someone from Yellow River told our boss that we were completely useless, and that Yellow River people had to do our jobs for us (one supposes, out of goodness of their Yellow River hearts). It was complete BS and lies, and Lejka happened to overhear. I was too zen by then to react (it was a Thursday, I remember), but she was REALLY pissed off about it.
So, as we sat working on some t-shirt designs, she kept mumbling about us being useless. Then, somehow, she arrived at the idea that we'd make matching t-shirts. Mine would say, "USE" and hers "LESS", and every time that woman would pass our workplace, we'd just jump together to form the full word.
So I went and made us t-shirts that said "USE" on the front and "LESS" on the back. We wore them fairly often, but no one knew what it all meant, so they decided we were being very eco-conscious... You know, "Use Less"? ^_^
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Inspiration - Found!
So, I've gotten some much-needed sleep over the weekend, and suddenly I've got all these ideas and energy and I've already crossed off all but one thing on my Must-Do list (You see, I don't have "to-do lists", that's for boring lives. I have to actually separate things I need to do into "Must Do", "Should Do", and "Want To Do" lists. Otherwise I get overwhelmed, things get forgotten, etc.)
Also, some things finally got crossed off my "Want To Do" list, so there should be new photo stories soon! Plus I made some new t-shirts for my boy dolls. Poor boys haven't had as much wardrobe variety as my girls.
So, exciting news all around. All from a little more sleep. Who knew?
Also, some things finally got crossed off my "Want To Do" list, so there should be new photo stories soon! Plus I made some new t-shirts for my boy dolls. Poor boys haven't had as much wardrobe variety as my girls.
So, exciting news all around. All from a little more sleep. Who knew?
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Penne wif Veggies
My kid is usually pretty good about eating veggies, but a lot of his friends aren't. When they stay over for dinner, I really hate to switch out our typical menus, partially because I don't want to give my son the wrong idea.
I found, though, that this dish works for the most veggie-hatin' kid.
Make pasta the normal way, drain, return to pot. Toss for 5 minutes with broccoli, chopped tomatoes, marinated pepper strips (adds the tanginess) and - this is the kid-winning part - Italian dressing.
You can add other vegetables there, too, of course - I usually just grab whatever I've got on hand.
Enjoy!
I found, though, that this dish works for the most veggie-hatin' kid.
Make pasta the normal way, drain, return to pot. Toss for 5 minutes with broccoli, chopped tomatoes, marinated pepper strips (adds the tanginess) and - this is the kid-winning part - Italian dressing.
You can add other vegetables there, too, of course - I usually just grab whatever I've got on hand.
Enjoy!
Monday, June 7, 2010
Drexel Fashion 2010
On Saturday, I went to my old school's fashion show. Drexel University's Fashion Show has been long acknowledged as most professionally done student show in the area (and we've got several fashion schools). This one pretty much blew me away.
Keep in mind that students have to design, make patterns, sew and fit all garments themselves.
There was a lot of leather, a lot of hand beading, some hand-dyeing, among other things.
I took over 200 photos, not all of them good, obviously. I'll be posting them as I go through and sort them out.
I have to say, I have trouble staying unbiased, so there were some garments that I didn't take a picture of because I hated the model (if ya gonna slouch, learn how to do without making the clothes look poorly fitted!) and there are a bunch of one particular model that I enjoyed watching.
Keep in mind that students have to design, make patterns, sew and fit all garments themselves.
There was a lot of leather, a lot of hand beading, some hand-dyeing, among other things.
I took over 200 photos, not all of them good, obviously. I'll be posting them as I go through and sort them out.
I have to say, I have trouble staying unbiased, so there were some garments that I didn't take a picture of because I hated the model (if ya gonna slouch, learn how to do without making the clothes look poorly fitted!) and there are a bunch of one particular model that I enjoyed watching.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Edumacting The Child
So, the other day I give the kid a big mom-lecture for being a dandelion-brain and being more interested in brainless TV and video games than in at least watching something "interesting" (translated from mom-speak - "educational"). The kid listens to me all forlornly, knowing he's trapped. Oh, he triiies to divert my attention with cunning 12-year-old tricks, such as randomly asking, "sooo, what are we gonna do now?" but it's just not working. I know. I'm like a ninja or something to see past these crafty diversions.
Anyway, eventually, we strike a compromise in which I get to shut up and we get to watch something on Discovery Channel. Discovery does not seem to have anything interesting, but hey, History Channel does! It's a "BC Battles" about Hannibal. And it's even something violent! (another point of contention, but I decide to let that go for now).
The show was actually pretty interesting and informative in a easy-to-swallow way. That is, of course, if you actually pay attention to the, uh, what are they called? Oh, yes, the WORDS! Though my kid's brains apparently have been fried from all the Disney and Nickolodeon, so while I'm being all impressed that Hannibal was but a baby (well, a 25-year-old baby, but still) when he started kicking Roman butts, my kid makes remarks like, "Oooh, look, a smiley face!" That's in response to them showing the formations of the Roman army vs. Hannibal's and yes, if you are REALLY bored, it may potentially look like a smiling robot or a 7-eyed alien, but seriously? I mean, really?
The show is all talking about how Hannibal tried to deal with Gauls and they were all, "Oooh, sure, let us show you the way through these mountain passes," and then turn around and ambush Hannibal (and his army, of course). And then his army would be like, "Oh, WTF, not again?!" and annihilate that particular tribe of Gauls. Eventually, of course, Hannibal got Gauls to be on his side using such incentives as "Yo, I got elephants!" and Gauls were all, "What's elephants, precious?" And Hannibal is all, "See that mountain? See it move? That's elephant." And Gauls were all like, "OMG, wow." So they joined Hannibal in his fight against Rome, especially after some of them got stepped on. By the elephants.
The kid is sitting there going, "Wow, did he just get wounded? I think he just got wounded!" That's because History Channel is trying to be cool and to not just have a bunch of white old men sit and explain about history with ancient ruins in the background. Now that we've got CGG, we can shoot a whole buncha guys in costumes waving swords and spears against a green screen and show THEM with ancient ruins in the background, so it looks like they're there. It does look cool, but apparently, my kid has trouble paying attention to those things, forgot again - oh yes, WORDS, when there are bloody (literally) pictures flashing right in front of him.
I am not sure if it's the end of the school year that's got him fried, or maybe he's starting on the whole teenager testosterone thing, but I'm not digging it. But, I guess, this is in the parental contract. Must be somewhere in the fine print, because nobody ever sees those things coming. And then you sit there and go, "Wow, I never realized I'd be required to remind my child to remember to take his hat off before getting into the shower!" I mean, we all know that at some point, we'll have a child come up to us and say, "Mom? I've got a project due tomorrow (that we had 2 weeks to work on), and I'll need 3 thousand different bits of supplies and also extensive internet research, and do you think we could perhaps start now?" And it's like 10 pm and all office supply stores are closed. We know that will come. But these things? Man, I shoulda read the fine print.
Anyway, eventually, we strike a compromise in which I get to shut up and we get to watch something on Discovery Channel. Discovery does not seem to have anything interesting, but hey, History Channel does! It's a "BC Battles" about Hannibal. And it's even something violent! (another point of contention, but I decide to let that go for now).
The show was actually pretty interesting and informative in a easy-to-swallow way. That is, of course, if you actually pay attention to the, uh, what are they called? Oh, yes, the WORDS! Though my kid's brains apparently have been fried from all the Disney and Nickolodeon, so while I'm being all impressed that Hannibal was but a baby (well, a 25-year-old baby, but still) when he started kicking Roman butts, my kid makes remarks like, "Oooh, look, a smiley face!" That's in response to them showing the formations of the Roman army vs. Hannibal's and yes, if you are REALLY bored, it may potentially look like a smiling robot or a 7-eyed alien, but seriously? I mean, really?
The show is all talking about how Hannibal tried to deal with Gauls and they were all, "Oooh, sure, let us show you the way through these mountain passes," and then turn around and ambush Hannibal (and his army, of course). And then his army would be like, "Oh, WTF, not again?!" and annihilate that particular tribe of Gauls. Eventually, of course, Hannibal got Gauls to be on his side using such incentives as "Yo, I got elephants!" and Gauls were all, "What's elephants, precious?" And Hannibal is all, "See that mountain? See it move? That's elephant." And Gauls were all like, "OMG, wow." So they joined Hannibal in his fight against Rome, especially after some of them got stepped on. By the elephants.
The kid is sitting there going, "Wow, did he just get wounded? I think he just got wounded!" That's because History Channel is trying to be cool and to not just have a bunch of white old men sit and explain about history with ancient ruins in the background. Now that we've got CGG, we can shoot a whole buncha guys in costumes waving swords and spears against a green screen and show THEM with ancient ruins in the background, so it looks like they're there. It does look cool, but apparently, my kid has trouble paying attention to those things, forgot again - oh yes, WORDS, when there are bloody (literally) pictures flashing right in front of him.
I am not sure if it's the end of the school year that's got him fried, or maybe he's starting on the whole teenager testosterone thing, but I'm not digging it. But, I guess, this is in the parental contract. Must be somewhere in the fine print, because nobody ever sees those things coming. And then you sit there and go, "Wow, I never realized I'd be required to remind my child to remember to take his hat off before getting into the shower!" I mean, we all know that at some point, we'll have a child come up to us and say, "Mom? I've got a project due tomorrow (that we had 2 weeks to work on), and I'll need 3 thousand different bits of supplies and also extensive internet research, and do you think we could perhaps start now?" And it's like 10 pm and all office supply stores are closed. We know that will come. But these things? Man, I shoulda read the fine print.
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